You can only tolerate so much...and yet there still is a struggle to shut the door
My heart still aches...it's a soft ache. It's one that accepts that there might not be a "next time" in terms of this relationship. These flash points are why I ended up leaving and choosing to stay in SC (for now at least). I left because: I can only tolerate being told "Fuck you" or "Fuck off" only so much by one who supposedly professes to love me. There is never any repair when their is a wrong that occurs. In other words, when he shoved the table one time and the dishes came crashing down...his "apology" was that he was "sorry" and that he was so angry he could have gone after me and chose the table. Gee, thanks... I shouldn't have to feel a sigh of relief when we avoid conflict...or carefully choose how to plan my words to avoid an explosion. I should not have to be lectured at or talked down to on a regular basis he demanded apologies from me without really giving or repairing his own behavior... we fought ov...